To listen.
To hear.
To take in my surroundings.
To just be.
This is hard.
What lot's of people may, or may not know about me is that I am a pretty TYPE A person.
Everything has it's place.
Everything has order.
There's a plan.
A system.
A goal.
In my own ideal world, I can always "see" where we are going.
HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
I said that's my preference, not reality.
We have savings to "get us through,"
but Ryan still does not have a job.
We are in a wonderful house,
but there is still a lot to do to make the house, a home.
Ryan and I had every intention of going on vacation next week,
but with some recent events (and lack thereof) we are on the edge as to IF we will actually go. Mind you I said we are supposed to leave next Monday.
Eli has been sick, very sick.
Fever of 104 for days, sick.
Vomitting all night, sick.
Our insurance ends tomorrow and the new insurance is "pending."
His sickiness has made him very clingy and fussy--making it difficult to get anything done, let alone to even think about how to help him.
Truthfully,
the list goes on.
All of these situations are up in the air.
They are the current prayer requests in this Stevenson household.
I don't know how they are all going to work out.
I can't see the plan.
I can't see the end in sight, and I can't see the road ahead.
So, instead, I'm listening.
Listening for His voice.
His calling.
His direction.
I know HE is here. I know HE knows each of these requests.
I can't see the solutions, but HE does.
Tonight, I'm listening.
Being quiet.
Thankful for the journey as it's been,
and hopeful in the one still ahead.
Tonight I am listening for peace.
For comfort.
For assurance.
In the quiet of this Tuesday evening,
talking and tears won't fix it.
Worry doens't work (though I am really good at it too).
I'm focusing in on the quiet.
Listening for THE still small voice.
He's here.
He knows.
I'm quiet.
He said ( to Elijah), "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still, small voice. (1 Kings 19:11 and 12)
Des, thank you so much for posting this. Your words come as a great comfort to me. Casey lost his job the day after you posted this and we are in a place where we are practically screaming for help from God (even though He's surely already providing it and we just can't see it yet...) and this reminded me to wait quietly and He will come. Not in my time, but His. It's not easy, it's certainly a struggle, but I am stepping out in faith on this one. I don't believe ever in my life have I truly had to do that before. Casey and I are still praying for you three and that Ryan finds the perfect in between job and that you'll find clear guidance for each step of the way.
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