Writing to write.

Sometimes, I just need to write.
My mind gets filled with thoughts, and writing helps sort them all out.
Eli is napping.
It's a cold day in Sacramento and the heater is whirring.

Overall, it's quiet.

I've said many times this journey of ours is prone to "quietness."
Ryan and I are waiting patiently for God to speak to us about what to do next,
but still --- nothing.
I have yet to decide how I feel about it.

Sometimes I wonder if we missed something in the course of the past many months.
I wonder if we are choosing not to REALLY hear.

I know better.
We've followed and we've been listening.
It's been amazing how disconnected though can help you be more connected.
As a family, we are more united.
With our friends, we have time.
Within the church, we are plugged in -- but still recharging.
It is good.
Quiet, yes.
But good.

I wonder a lot about what  ministry for us will look like next.
I wonder when the words I write will say something more.
I promise when He tell us more, there will be more.
Until then, we are good.
Living life daily.
Loving God with our lives.
And loving God together as a family sent by HIM - surrounded by HIS peace.

The Tree.

One of the greatest blessing of our rental house has been the charming park across the street from the house.  As you can imagine, we frequent it quiet often.
Eli usually attempts to dart towards it any time the front door or garage door opens.
I can't say we go everyday, but often.
While normally my time there is spent chasing around our very active 20 month old,
when Eli swings
--I swing too.
Last week while enjoying an hour (yes, an literal hour) of the sun shining through the clouds,
Eli wanted to swing.
Allowing me to sit.  And swing.

There's a tree that stands in the park.
It's not a giant tree, or even a mature tree.
It's young, but not an infant.
Probably a "teenager."
Still growing, still "small"
but weathered and grounded.
It's not going anywhere unless someone cuts it down.

This tree has been placed at the edge of the playground and sidewalk.
Next to it were thoughtfully placed a picnic table and bench.
It's a common tree.  A shade tree.
Perfect for a park.
It stands alone it's area, with it's nearest tree relative 30 feet away.
As I sat swinging next to my son I examined the tree from afar.

The tree stands out in the park.
It's different from the rest.

The tree is bent.
It leans.
With it's trunk growing towards the West, the branches follow suit.
It's unbalanced and uneven.
Imperfect.

Wind, weather, and storms have formed this unique tree.
Only time could show the storms that caused this tree to grow as it has.

God has used the weather, and maybe even mans lack of care to form this charming tree.

As it leans to the left, it's shade perfectly covers the picnic table.
With the few branches that grow to the right, shade cover the bench beneath it.
Straight? No.
Balanced? No.
Perfect? Depends.

Despite the journeys we face in life, the people we encounter, the storms we weather --
 God is forming us too.
We don't know why in moments.
They may hurt and bend us.
And they always change us.
Through them, HE forms us.
HE sets us apart.
Perfectly molding us to a purposeful life.

May my life be as the tree.
Weathered.
Tattered.
Unconventional.
But serving a perfect purpose.