It's been a long time since I've (we've) written anything here.
For our readers, despite the lack of words -- it says a lot.
Bottom line, it's still quiet.
Or, at least it was.
In the past month, God's hand has been moving again.
He's starting to stir us up again, for something.
We've felt a thought the "quite" time is coming to an end and God is preparing us for something.
While we still aren't sure what that means in relation to ministry, we've come to a place where we are ready to face what's next.
We are anxious for it.
Excited to see the continuation of this very interesting, and stretching journey.
In the past few weeks, Ryan and I have had some very real, and very eye-opening interactions with people.
Through their words to us, God has spoke to our hearts.
Preparing us.
Making us excited to venture "back" into ministry.
God has been stirring us up again.
Even though the pot is still technically simmering, we feel strongly that this season is soon to change.
Professionally, Ryan and I are in great places.
Ryan is still loving his job at Farmers, and they are happy with him as an employee.
His job has been a gift from God, and one that we do not take lightly.
On my end, a very exciting opportunity presented itself in my career and I followed it.
After applying and interviewing, I was chosen as the new Curriculum and Assessment Coordinator for my School.
It was a long-shot in my mind that I would get the position, and I am overly blessed and honored that I did.
This professional change for me means a bigger change for our family.
I am going back full-time.
Since Eli was born, I have been blessed to be part-time.
My going full time is a choice as I pursue this position.
A position I have aimed for since my college years.
Eli is now two.
He's getting more and more social.
He desires that outlet and interaction.
Ryan and I are ecstatic about the opportunity that awaits me in this new position,
but we are tentative about where Eli will be starting in August.
I am confident this will be a good transition for him too, but I am still very concerned about it as well.
I am trusting that as God has very evidently opened this door for me, HE will also provide the perfect opportunity for Eli as well.
How can you be praying for us --
1. That God will continue to stir the pot. We are ready to be back in ministry, and are ready to jump when HE show's us what that means.
2. For Peace in my new job position. I am so excited, but so worried about Eli. Please pray that God will show us the right fit for Eli so that he will continue to grow and learn, and we will be confident in our decision.
God is still very much here and a part of our lives. Despite the quietness, God is still working and speaking.
We trust where he is taking us, and where we are going -- with every passing day.
Thanks for hanging in there with us -- and traveling this journey alongside us.
It's still to be continued!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Writing to write.
Sometimes, I just need to write.
My mind gets filled with thoughts, and writing helps sort them all out.
Eli is napping.
It's a cold day in Sacramento and the heater is whirring.
Overall, it's quiet.
I've said many times this journey of ours is prone to "quietness."
Ryan and I are waiting patiently for God to speak to us about what to do next,
but still --- nothing.
I have yet to decide how I feel about it.
Sometimes I wonder if we missed something in the course of the past many months.
I wonder if we are choosing not to REALLY hear.
I know better.
We've followed and we've been listening.
It's been amazing how disconnected though can help you be more connected.
As a family, we are more united.
With our friends, we have time.
Within the church, we are plugged in -- but still recharging.
It is good.
Quiet, yes.
But good.
I wonder a lot about what ministry for us will look like next.
I wonder when the words I write will say something more.
I promise when He tell us more, there will be more.
Until then, we are good.
Living life daily.
Loving God with our lives.
And loving God together as a family sent by HIM - surrounded by HIS peace.
My mind gets filled with thoughts, and writing helps sort them all out.
Eli is napping.
It's a cold day in Sacramento and the heater is whirring.
Overall, it's quiet.
I've said many times this journey of ours is prone to "quietness."
Ryan and I are waiting patiently for God to speak to us about what to do next,
but still --- nothing.
I have yet to decide how I feel about it.
Sometimes I wonder if we missed something in the course of the past many months.
I wonder if we are choosing not to REALLY hear.
I know better.
We've followed and we've been listening.
It's been amazing how disconnected though can help you be more connected.
As a family, we are more united.
With our friends, we have time.
Within the church, we are plugged in -- but still recharging.
It is good.
Quiet, yes.
But good.
I wonder a lot about what ministry for us will look like next.
I wonder when the words I write will say something more.
I promise when He tell us more, there will be more.
Until then, we are good.
Living life daily.
Loving God with our lives.
And loving God together as a family sent by HIM - surrounded by HIS peace.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Tree.
One of the greatest blessing of our rental house has been the charming park across the street from the house. As you can imagine, we frequent it quiet often.
Eli usually attempts to dart towards it any time the front door or garage door opens.
I can't say we go everyday, but often.
While normally my time there is spent chasing around our very active 20 month old,
when Eli swings
--I swing too.
Last week while enjoying an hour (yes, an literal hour) of the sun shining through the clouds,
Eli wanted to swing.
Allowing me to sit. And swing.
There's a tree that stands in the park.
It's not a giant tree, or even a mature tree.
It's young, but not an infant.
Probably a "teenager."
Still growing, still "small"
but weathered and grounded.
It's not going anywhere unless someone cuts it down.
This tree has been placed at the edge of the playground and sidewalk.
Next to it were thoughtfully placed a picnic table and bench.
It's a common tree. A shade tree.
Perfect for a park.
It stands alone it's area, with it's nearest tree relative 30 feet away.
As I sat swinging next to my son I examined the tree from afar.
The tree stands out in the park.
It's different from the rest.
The tree is bent.
It leans.
With it's trunk growing towards the West, the branches follow suit.
It's unbalanced and uneven.
Imperfect.
Wind, weather, and storms have formed this unique tree.
Only time could show the storms that caused this tree to grow as it has.
God has used the weather, and maybe even mans lack of care to form this charming tree.
As it leans to the left, it's shade perfectly covers the picnic table.
With the few branches that grow to the right, shade cover the bench beneath it.
Straight? No.
Balanced? No.
Perfect? Depends.
Despite the journeys we face in life, the people we encounter, the storms we weather --
God is forming us too.
We don't know why in moments.
They may hurt and bend us.
And they always change us.
Through them, HE forms us.
HE sets us apart.
Perfectly molding us to a purposeful life.
May my life be as the tree.
Weathered.
Tattered.
Unconventional.
But serving a perfect purpose.
Eli usually attempts to dart towards it any time the front door or garage door opens.
I can't say we go everyday, but often.
While normally my time there is spent chasing around our very active 20 month old,
when Eli swings
--I swing too.
Last week while enjoying an hour (yes, an literal hour) of the sun shining through the clouds,
Eli wanted to swing.
Allowing me to sit. And swing.
There's a tree that stands in the park.
It's not a giant tree, or even a mature tree.
It's young, but not an infant.
Probably a "teenager."
Still growing, still "small"
but weathered and grounded.
It's not going anywhere unless someone cuts it down.
This tree has been placed at the edge of the playground and sidewalk.
Next to it were thoughtfully placed a picnic table and bench.
It's a common tree. A shade tree.
Perfect for a park.
It stands alone it's area, with it's nearest tree relative 30 feet away.
As I sat swinging next to my son I examined the tree from afar.
The tree stands out in the park.
It's different from the rest.
The tree is bent.
It leans.
With it's trunk growing towards the West, the branches follow suit.
It's unbalanced and uneven.
Imperfect.
Wind, weather, and storms have formed this unique tree.
Only time could show the storms that caused this tree to grow as it has.
God has used the weather, and maybe even mans lack of care to form this charming tree.
As it leans to the left, it's shade perfectly covers the picnic table.
With the few branches that grow to the right, shade cover the bench beneath it.
Straight? No.
Balanced? No.
Perfect? Depends.
Despite the journeys we face in life, the people we encounter, the storms we weather --
God is forming us too.
We don't know why in moments.
They may hurt and bend us.
And they always change us.
Through them, HE forms us.
HE sets us apart.
Perfectly molding us to a purposeful life.
May my life be as the tree.
Weathered.
Tattered.
Unconventional.
But serving a perfect purpose.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
End of a year.
It's December 23.
Christmas Eve Eve in my family.
With two days left until Christmas and eight until New Years -
I thought it the perfect time to write one last posting for the year.
I'm not sure what else to say that hasn't already been shared.
Ryan and I continue to reflect on our journey this past year.
The roller coaster ride we have called life.
It's been confusing.
Hard.
Hopeless.
Hopeful.
Tight.
Disappointing.
Relieving.
Scary.
Exciting.
Painful.
Promising.
But most importantly, right now -- it's peaceful.
Peace has reigned in our hearts throughout it all.
Despite our questions of whys, and whats---we have never once questioned if God was with us.
His peace has always remained.
Things are not necessarily how we would have ever planned.
Things are not necessarily how we would like to keep them.
But for now, we are thankful for much.
We are thankful for the transition that has happened.
We are thankful for jobs, a home, provisions.
We are thankful for the love of family and friends, who have lifted us up so much.
We are thankful for a healthy, growing son--who is curious, confident, and so loving.
We are thankful for a generous giver, who gave to us financially -- thank you.
We are thankful for others who feel our same sentiment, and are stepping out.
We are thankful for insurance.
We are thankful for vacations.
We are thankful for prayers.
We are thankful for the journey--just as it's been.
No, it hasn't been easy.
No, it hasn't been as planned.
And no, we weren't confident through it all.
This year was a year of refocusing.
Who we are, who we want to be, who we will be should ONLY be defined by HIS desires for us.
This year, God has reminded us that our focus is to be on Him.
A reminder that our calling is based on HIM alone, and what HE desires of us.
We followed HIS desires this year.
Hard to understand.
Hard to comprehend.
Hard to follow.
This year, we gave in 100% to our calling.
Undefined.
Unprepared.
Uncertain.
We followed.
And here we remain.
Wrapping up 2010.
In transition.
Faithfully following.
Comfortably waiting.
Thankful for so much.
I have no idea what 2011 will bring.
I never would have guessed what 2010 was going to present.
Despite everything, here we are.
In the middle.
In the quiet.
Preparing for Christmas.
Reflecting on a journey unfolding daily.
Hopeful in the plan that God has dreamed for us.
Inspired not to settle for anything less.
We end 2010
Hopeful.
Rested.
Waiting.
and Peaceful.
May the peace of the Father find you and yours this Holiday season.
May you be challenged in 2011 to step out and follow HIS dreams and desires for you.
If you are out in His will, find comfort knowing you are not alone.
In 2010--we stepped out into God's plan for us.
In 2011, the journey will surely continue to unfold--
stay tuned.
Peaceful in His will,
The Stevensons
Christmas Eve Eve in my family.
With two days left until Christmas and eight until New Years -
I thought it the perfect time to write one last posting for the year.
I'm not sure what else to say that hasn't already been shared.
Ryan and I continue to reflect on our journey this past year.
The roller coaster ride we have called life.
It's been confusing.
Hard.
Hopeless.
Hopeful.
Tight.
Disappointing.
Relieving.
Scary.
Exciting.
Painful.
Promising.
But most importantly, right now -- it's peaceful.
Peace has reigned in our hearts throughout it all.
Despite our questions of whys, and whats---we have never once questioned if God was with us.
His peace has always remained.
Things are not necessarily how we would have ever planned.
Things are not necessarily how we would like to keep them.
But for now, we are thankful for much.
We are thankful for the transition that has happened.
We are thankful for jobs, a home, provisions.
We are thankful for the love of family and friends, who have lifted us up so much.
We are thankful for a healthy, growing son--who is curious, confident, and so loving.
We are thankful for a generous giver, who gave to us financially -- thank you.
We are thankful for others who feel our same sentiment, and are stepping out.
We are thankful for insurance.
We are thankful for vacations.
We are thankful for prayers.
We are thankful for the journey--just as it's been.
No, it hasn't been easy.
No, it hasn't been as planned.
And no, we weren't confident through it all.
This year was a year of refocusing.
Who we are, who we want to be, who we will be should ONLY be defined by HIS desires for us.
This year, God has reminded us that our focus is to be on Him.
A reminder that our calling is based on HIM alone, and what HE desires of us.
We followed HIS desires this year.
Hard to understand.
Hard to comprehend.
Hard to follow.
This year, we gave in 100% to our calling.
Undefined.
Unprepared.
Uncertain.
We followed.
And here we remain.
Wrapping up 2010.
In transition.
Faithfully following.
Comfortably waiting.
Thankful for so much.
I have no idea what 2011 will bring.
I never would have guessed what 2010 was going to present.
Despite everything, here we are.
In the middle.
In the quiet.
Preparing for Christmas.
Reflecting on a journey unfolding daily.
Hopeful in the plan that God has dreamed for us.
Inspired not to settle for anything less.
We end 2010
Hopeful.
Rested.
Waiting.
and Peaceful.
May the peace of the Father find you and yours this Holiday season.
May you be challenged in 2011 to step out and follow HIS dreams and desires for you.
If you are out in His will, find comfort knowing you are not alone.
In 2010--we stepped out into God's plan for us.
In 2011, the journey will surely continue to unfold--
stay tuned.
Peaceful in His will,
The Stevensons
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Trust the Process
This weekend Ryan and I had the amazing opportunity to join other young leaders for a weekend conference. Logistically we were thankful, it was only 24 hours and here in Sacramento. Eli stayed with my parents allowing us time to reflect on, and really defrag the last six months.
We enjoyed every moment of the retreat, and really felt God confirm many area's of our lives.
During the conference, the speaker (Chris Conrad) made a statement that has lingered with me. While talking about times of change and transition, Chris said, "Trust the Process."
Sometimes things aren't as they were planned.
Sometimes our dreams don't work out as we hoped they would be.
Sometimes what we think life will bring....is the complete opposite.
Ryan and I still don't know what's next for us in ministry.
We are still being asked by others weekly.
We are still feeling the tugs to move forward on something.
We are still very much aware that people are "waiting" on us.
BUT--
we are waiting too.
We are in the process.
God has yet to speak.
He has yet to point us in the direction HE wants us to go.
We don't know why.
We know we are in HIS will and we are OK with that.
Ryan is in LA for his final training with FARMERS these next few weeks.
Not sure why Farmers, or where that will lead--but once again we are "trusting the process."
Trust is a hard thing.
It's earned.
God has earned our trust with his faithfulness time and time again in our lives.
This process has been one of the most stretching, painful, and growing experiences we have ever faced individually, spiritually and as a family.
We know it will not be in vein.
We trust in a big God who is mighty.
His plans are not our plans...and so we wait.
Trusting the process, one day at a time.
We enjoyed every moment of the retreat, and really felt God confirm many area's of our lives.
During the conference, the speaker (Chris Conrad) made a statement that has lingered with me. While talking about times of change and transition, Chris said, "Trust the Process."
Sometimes things aren't as they were planned.
Sometimes our dreams don't work out as we hoped they would be.
Sometimes what we think life will bring....is the complete opposite.
Ryan and I still don't know what's next for us in ministry.
We are still being asked by others weekly.
We are still feeling the tugs to move forward on something.
We are still very much aware that people are "waiting" on us.
BUT--
we are waiting too.
We are in the process.
God has yet to speak.
He has yet to point us in the direction HE wants us to go.
We don't know why.
We know we are in HIS will and we are OK with that.
Ryan is in LA for his final training with FARMERS these next few weeks.
Not sure why Farmers, or where that will lead--but once again we are "trusting the process."
Trust is a hard thing.
It's earned.
God has earned our trust with his faithfulness time and time again in our lives.
This process has been one of the most stretching, painful, and growing experiences we have ever faced individually, spiritually and as a family.
We know it will not be in vein.
We trust in a big God who is mighty.
His plans are not our plans...and so we wait.
Trusting the process, one day at a time.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Provision
Ryan and I have learned a lot about God's faithfulness and provisions in the six and a half years we've been married.
One of the things we have come to recognize, but not fully understand -
is "God Math."
"God Math" is simple.
It's unexplainable.
It's when the numbers in your account--don't match.
When there's more then there should be.
Or JUST enough to make it, when there should be a huge negative in the red.
It's God Math.
Or at least that's what we refer to it as.
Giving God all of the credit, because that is who deserves it.
I have to tell you though, despite how many times God Math has happened in our times of financial hardship.
Being in hardship NEVER gets easier.
Even though time and time agin HE has proven himself more than faithful, we still doubt.
I doubt.
In this most recent journey, "God Math" has happened probably too many times to count.
God has taken care of, provided for, and supplied our needs time and time again in the past few months.
He is so good.
So aware of what we need, exactly when we've needed it.
It's pretty amazing to serve a God who care's so much.
When you doubt if God is really there,
it's the last bill getting paid to the cent, that shows HE very much knows.
I am thankful to say that the time hardship has passed for now.
Ryan's job has been a HUGE provision, again just in time.
And while we are still very much catching up,
I am so thankful that burden has been lifted.
Provision is a beautiful thing.
God Math is God's way of reminding us HE will see us through.
I don't know why I worry.
One way or another, God provides.
Always.
May I never become numb to the subtle (but HUGE) ways God reminds me that he is very much near to us.
One of the things we have come to recognize, but not fully understand -
is "God Math."
"God Math" is simple.
It's unexplainable.
It's when the numbers in your account--don't match.
When there's more then there should be.
Or JUST enough to make it, when there should be a huge negative in the red.
It's God Math.
Or at least that's what we refer to it as.
Giving God all of the credit, because that is who deserves it.
I have to tell you though, despite how many times God Math has happened in our times of financial hardship.
Being in hardship NEVER gets easier.
Even though time and time agin HE has proven himself more than faithful, we still doubt.
I doubt.
In this most recent journey, "God Math" has happened probably too many times to count.
God has taken care of, provided for, and supplied our needs time and time again in the past few months.
He is so good.
So aware of what we need, exactly when we've needed it.
It's pretty amazing to serve a God who care's so much.
When you doubt if God is really there,
it's the last bill getting paid to the cent, that shows HE very much knows.
I am thankful to say that the time hardship has passed for now.
Ryan's job has been a HUGE provision, again just in time.
And while we are still very much catching up,
I am so thankful that burden has been lifted.
Provision is a beautiful thing.
God Math is God's way of reminding us HE will see us through.
I don't know why I worry.
One way or another, God provides.
Always.
May I never become numb to the subtle (but HUGE) ways God reminds me that he is very much near to us.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A Month.
It's been over a month since my last post.
If it's not obvious, things have settled down.
Things are quiet.
Life is routine.
Honestly, it's been a welcomed breath of fresh air.
Ryan is loving his job. He's stilli n training. But he's finding fulfillment in learning something new, and meeting new people. His job is SO relational, it comes so naturally to him.
My school year is moving right along. My partner and I have a few needier students who have taken up a lot of our spare time. They are near and dear little ones and setting them up for success has been a never ending job this past month.
For the very first time in my professional career, I am getting the opportunity to mentor a student teacher. I am ecstatic about the gift to get to pour into an upcoming educator, and "pay it forward."
Eli is doing so well. He is full of energy, life, and new tricks. Our hands are full, but we wouldn't want it any other way. His vocabulary is growing daily, and we find ourselves talking to a little boy who now knows MOST of what we are saying. It's amazing how quickly time flies. HIs preschool situation is not working out as planned, and honestly that's a huge area of prayer right now. We always said that we would reevaluate in November if it was working, here it is mid-October and we find ourselves doing just that. We had hopes all would be great, but unfortunately it's just not and we are going with our guts -- trusting God will provide a better fit for Eli, and us.
I had coffee with a friend yesterday and she asked me if I felt we were still were God wanted us? Were we listening to him, or bitter towards him?
GOd has been talking to us so much in the past month.
Speaking truth to our hearts about how he see's us.
About living lives that please him, not men.
He's been whispering words of healing, and confidence.
Words of love and hope.
We hear him clearly based on the lessons we are learning about ourselves, our journey - past, present and future.
God is very much active and present here with us now.
He is working in our lives and on our hearts.
Preparing us for what is next.
Though He hasn't spoken a word about it.
Bitterness, no.
Hope, yes.
Peace in where we are, absolutely.
God is speaking to us daily.
Revealing new truths, area's of growth, comfort in healing.
He is with us, we are with Him.
The journey is as HE planned.
In that, we find confidence.
We are well.
We appreciate continued prayer.
We appreciate the words of love and support we have received.
It's been a welcomed quiet month.
The journey has slowed down a bit, and it's been nice living out a new routine that God has designed for us.
Always waiting for what's next,
but thankful to be where we are, doing what we are doing--for now.
If it's not obvious, things have settled down.
Things are quiet.
Life is routine.
Honestly, it's been a welcomed breath of fresh air.
Ryan is loving his job. He's stilli n training. But he's finding fulfillment in learning something new, and meeting new people. His job is SO relational, it comes so naturally to him.
My school year is moving right along. My partner and I have a few needier students who have taken up a lot of our spare time. They are near and dear little ones and setting them up for success has been a never ending job this past month.
For the very first time in my professional career, I am getting the opportunity to mentor a student teacher. I am ecstatic about the gift to get to pour into an upcoming educator, and "pay it forward."
Eli is doing so well. He is full of energy, life, and new tricks. Our hands are full, but we wouldn't want it any other way. His vocabulary is growing daily, and we find ourselves talking to a little boy who now knows MOST of what we are saying. It's amazing how quickly time flies. HIs preschool situation is not working out as planned, and honestly that's a huge area of prayer right now. We always said that we would reevaluate in November if it was working, here it is mid-October and we find ourselves doing just that. We had hopes all would be great, but unfortunately it's just not and we are going with our guts -- trusting God will provide a better fit for Eli, and us.
I had coffee with a friend yesterday and she asked me if I felt we were still were God wanted us? Were we listening to him, or bitter towards him?
GOd has been talking to us so much in the past month.
Speaking truth to our hearts about how he see's us.
About living lives that please him, not men.
He's been whispering words of healing, and confidence.
Words of love and hope.
We hear him clearly based on the lessons we are learning about ourselves, our journey - past, present and future.
God is very much active and present here with us now.
He is working in our lives and on our hearts.
Preparing us for what is next.
Though He hasn't spoken a word about it.
Bitterness, no.
Hope, yes.
Peace in where we are, absolutely.
God is speaking to us daily.
Revealing new truths, area's of growth, comfort in healing.
He is with us, we are with Him.
The journey is as HE planned.
In that, we find confidence.
We are well.
We appreciate continued prayer.
We appreciate the words of love and support we have received.
It's been a welcomed quiet month.
The journey has slowed down a bit, and it's been nice living out a new routine that God has designed for us.
Always waiting for what's next,
but thankful to be where we are, doing what we are doing--for now.
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